Emotionally Charged Conflict: EQ Strategies for Leaders #emotionalintelligence #leadershipstrategies #leadershipdevelopment #executivecoaching #conflictresolution #difficultconversations

Emotionally Charged Conflict: EQ Strategies for Leaders

Conflict is unavoidable, and so are the emotions that come along with it. Heated discussions among senior leadership, between department leaders, and between colleagues and employees are not at all uncommon. However, how leaders handle emotionally charged conflict plays an important role not only in interpersonal relationships and productivity but also in your overarching company culture and, ultimately, the successful delivery of value to your customers.

As a leader, you are responsible for being aware of your own emotional state as well as those around you. That’s a challenge when a topic, tone, or even a specific person tends to strike a chord.

Here are a few ways leaders can use EQ (emotional intelligence) strategies for managing emotionally charged conflict.

Prevention Is the Best Solution

Of course we’re going to talk about what you can do to prevent a difficult conversation from becoming a conflict. Build a company culture based on mutual trust. Create open dialogues so that challenges are discussed freely before emotion comes into play. Create pathways for rising leadership with consistent skill training and growth opportunities built in. Plan for the rise of AI (artificial intelligence) and other “hard-skill” advances by ensuring that the human touch and emotional intelligence never is compromised. Utilize assessments to understand how different people or teams best communicate, then regularly use those tools.

It all sounds easy, but most likely, you’re reading this article from somewhere within a problem that already exists.

Stay Above It

It’s happened. A challenging situation has turned into an emotionally charged conflict, and tempers are flaring. There doesn’t seem to be an easy way to resolve it. What’s the first step? Notice whether you are holding your breath, how you are standing, what your facial expression is… then breathe.

Emotional reactions are a result of your internal autopilot taking over. Feelings can cause a disconnect between ultimate goals and your actual interaction. Recognize what your state is, and take a figurative step back if at all possible. In a position of power and as a leader, it is important to remember that hearing the message is the primary goal.

Take a second to separate this situation from the back story or history with the other person. What is the point the person is attempting to make? Recognize whether you are reacting to how the situation makes you feel or the content of their message. Use silence to recalibrate and be conscious of the pitch and cadence of your voice. Think about your response before you actually verbalize it. Emotional awareness and situational mindfulness are vital to understanding your interaction and defusing an emotionally charged conflict.

Look from Their Perspective

Everyone has a personal life that can affect our emotional reactions. Children, aging parents, and health issues, not to mention communication style, work history, and skill level, all can impact how and why a conflict develops. As you listen to and respond to the other person, detach their body language and tone from the words they are using. Validate the other party’s point. That doesn’t have to mean agreeing with them. Repeating their point back to them shows that you’ve heard what they have to say and can help clarify the message.

Treating their emotional experience with respect can aid in defusing tension. Refocusing your discussion with key points of agreement or commonly desired outcomes can also bring the conversation down to a more emotionally manageable level. Shifting from individual concerns to collective outcomes can serve to unify parties and pave the way for effective problem-solving.

Know When to Ask for Help

When a conflict becomes too complex or entrenched, enlisting an impartial advisor can help. A neutral expert can refresh perspectives and facilitate discussions without innate biases. An advisor can help uncover underlying issues and develop strategies to prevent future disputes. Navigating an emotionally charged conflict effectively requires a deeper dive than just solving surface-level issues. It involves understanding and managing the emotions at play. Liddell Consulting Group works with leaders and organizations to identify what is at the heart of conflict and create opportunities to resolve it. We offer perspectives that can help realign you and your organization for more cohesive and productive interactions. Contact us to get started.